It's difficult to comprehend how Scott Hay's story, told in his memoir Bleeding Hearts, could be possible.
An immediate family member murders his father Bruce, leaving him and his siblings Mike and Michelle, without a father. Yet today, they are all in his words, “stronger than ever.”
And that includes the killer.
On Dec. 7, Hay is hosting a book signing and reading at Pandora's Boox and Tea at 6:30 p.m. Refreshments will be served and he will also answer questions.
In Bleeding Hearts, Hay starts with his father's disappearance in December, 1997.
Bruce's body is found in the dead animal pit on the Hays' Wetaskiwin-area farm.
Hay, 18 years old at the time, is interrogated by police and accused of murdering his father — all while getting roughed up by officers in the process.
After he's charged with being an accessory to murder, his mother Susanne confesses to the crime.
Susanne takes a plea deal and is sentenced to four years in prison for manslaughter; lesser charges, due to years of abuse she endured from Bruce, as Hay details.
“My mother started cleaning up the kitchen and doing the breakfast dishes. As she worked, her anger and resentment built until it reached a point of no reasoning. She quickly devised a plan to get rid of my father while keeping her family, financial security and personal safety intact,” he writes on page 110.
Now 36 years old and living in Radium Hot Springs, B.C., Hay describes a complicated relationship with his father, who had a moody personality and an explosive temper, resulting in beatings and verbal abuse.
At the same time, he credits Bruce for being a good provider who taught him how to hunt, fish and weld.
Hay says he felt loved by his father, which might be hard for others to understand. But those people weren't there.
“You can forgive someone for messing up if you feel where their true heart is.”
As well, Hay has forgiven his mother. In fact, she wrote the afterword to the book.
“I've never ever held anger towards her for it because I think I understand how she got to where she was,” he said.
“From my point of view, they were both good people. But also, they both did bad things.”
Hay wrote Bleeding Hearts as a way of passing down his story but there was another reason: to raise awareness of domestic violence.
“Abuse in the farming community is very, very common but nobody looks at these farmers as villains for beating their kids because a lot of the men are good men. It just kind of becomes a common practice. It's becoming more uncommon as we get older but it's still there,” he said.
“Once I started writing it, I started seeing how this could benefit people in domestic violent situations. Now that it's been out there, I've been getting a lot of emails from people saying how it's going to help them change the way they raise their kids.”
