”Dad, I need help,” words painfully uttered by Rick and Cindy More's 22-year-old daughter Lindsey, nine months before she took her life Sept. 20, 2015.
Rick, from Red Deer, was one of several speakers at the Sept. 10 The Conversation Has to Happen conference — offering hope to those affected by suicide and depression.
Olds' Andrea Hawiuk spearheaded and raised the majority of the money for the event held at Olds' Pomeroy Inn & Suites. Her wishes were fulfilled, free-of-charge: good music, good food and former TV anchor Darrel Janz as MC. She was convinced there was a need. The 280 attendees confirmed it.
Guilt pushes Rick to spread the word and offer hope about depression and how it can envelop anyone including his beautiful, intelligent, funny, outgoing girl, who'd tried suicide twice before her final attempt.
He and Cindy founded the Smiles Thru Lindsey Foundation. It's raised more than $600,000 to offer financial hope to adults, teens and children dealing with depression.
Rick read a note discovered by the family shortly before Lindsey's funeral. It chronicled Lindsey's struggle with an indescribable depression and self-loathing. She wished for a cure or treatment. She wished she wasn't difficult to love.
Rick wiped away tears as he struggled to read his daughter's final cry for help. Lindsey's distorted view of herself haunts him. He shared a common refrain of guilt felt by friends and family of suicide victims: “if only I could have done more, I could have prevented this.'”
Michelle, a recovered addict 30 years sober, described discovering alcohol at 14. The war in her head stopped: she found temporary peace and calm.
Michelle's destructive booze and cocaine-fuelled journey lasted 10 years. She described the darkness, self-loathing and hatred. Today, with treatment, Michelle leads a life full of hope and optimism.
Terry Coles, a retired television and radio executive, nearing 80, described how his depression started when he was a youngster in the 1940s. He lived a seemingly normal life: married, had three children and carved out a very successful career.
He masked depression with work. When he was alone, he described going into a dark hole. He'd never felt joy. Medication helps curb the lows and gives him a taste of the highs he's never experienced.
Calgary's Kaitlin Hrudey, 22, daughter of hockey great and hockey broadcaster Kelly Hrudey, spoke of her debilitating struggle with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Initially, Kaitlin's parents thought her obsessive blinking as a young girl was a phase. Actually, she was fearful of going blind and was scared she had cancer. She believed the only way she'd avoid disease or blindness was to stay with her mother and continue obsessive blinking.
Her parents sought professional help to treat Kaitlin. A psychologist suggested breathing exercises and finding tranquility in a safe garden in her mind.
Through hard work with the help of family and friends she's found relief. Anxiety did return, however, when Kaitlin entered an out-of-province university. She found the experience embarrassing and thought herself a failure. Her life's back on track: she's attending university, lives with a cousin and has a boyfriend.
There were other speakers, including Olds Hospice Society vice-president Kathy Kemmere, who spoke of grief, recovery and hope.
Dr. Jody Carrington offered a professional's perspective. She said we need to look people in the eye, ask sincere questions and show we care. Medication helps, but isn't a panacea. Caring friends and family help to heal.
The event ended with questions to a panel made up of presenters. Candid queries about deep depression, cutting, guilt, helping those in distress, and where to find help, confirmed this volunteer-led event was desperately needed.
Depression doesn't discriminate: no one's immune, including those in Olds and Mountain View County. There is, however, hope and help. You are not alone.
