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Life, love, and long distance

You should have seen me a year ago. Calling me the stereotypical bachelor would be putting it mildly. I invented new meals – Kraft Dinner flambé anyone? And life was simple, revolving around the essentials: hockey and football.

You should have seen me a year ago.

Calling me the stereotypical bachelor would be putting it mildly. I invented new meals – Kraft Dinner flambé anyone? And life was simple, revolving around the essentials: hockey and football. Settling down and getting married was pretty far down my “to-do” list, somewhere between planning the Maple Leafs’ Stanley Cup Parade and auditioning for “The Apprentice.” In other words, it wasn’t happening anytime soon.

A year later, I’m engaged, living in central Alberta and trying to set an example for a seven-year-old boy who will hopefully soon become my stepson.

So what happened? What changed?

Sometimes I’m not totally sure. Life happened, I guess.

Living north of 60° can sometimes be a lonely existence. Winter winds whip snow across the relatively flat topography, forcing people to stay indoors for long stretches at a time. Cabin Fever wasn’t only a state of mind – it was also, somewhat appropriately, the name of a local business. In the summer, gangs of bugs replaced the winter winds, and those mighty enough to venture outdoors for an extended period did so with a protective layer of DEET cologne. For the most part, if I wasn’t out playing sports or on a fire call with the local volunteer department, I was at home hanging out with Guinness, my four-year-old Glen of Imaal terrier.

After years of looking for relationships, I finally took my family’s advice late last year – I waited. And waited. And waited. And then, the waiting paid off, proving the axiom that “good things come to those who wait” true. My friend Michelle, who I had met in 2008 when she was visiting the north to teach a course, returned. It was love at first sight – the second time around. Two weeks after Michelle returned to Calgary I was making the daylong trek back to Toronto from the North for the holidays. It’s weird, but I already knew my life would be taking me south, but not east. Toronto would have to wait – I already had set my eyes on the West. And somewhat surprisingly, my parents responded in a way I hadn’t thought they would. They celebrated my choice, and told me to get ready for multiple visitors, something that was an extremely rare treat when I lived in the North.

So here we are, five months and endless hours of conversation later, engaged. Last year at this time, my nightly thoughts were about what leftovers to microwave for dinner. Now they’re about wedding planning. We’re working on the where and when right now. And while it will be challenging to find a date that works for everyone, we’re having fun doing it. But we both agree on one thing – the wedding will be simple, with no frills or gimmicks. It’s the first step in a much longer journey.

Guinness and I are no longer at this alone. Michelle’s son, Dylan, has now become Guinness’ caretaker and friend. I’ve spent every weekend since I moved south in Calgary, looking after Dylan while Michelle works long shifts with Calgary EMS. Every weekend, Guinness’ excitement at seeing me wanes a little bit – and it’s honestly a great thing. He’s quickly becoming part of Dylan’s daily life, just as much Michelle and Dylan are becoming part of mine.

The days of football, hockey and bachelorhood have been replaced by helping with homework, household chores, and building forts.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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