Removing memorials from public schools is a slap in the face to everyone who knew the people those tributes represent, bereaved parents tell the Gazette.
St. Albert Public sent written copies of new guidelines to schools in late August that said “permanent memorials in schools will not be established” due to their potential impacts on students. In an Aug. 29 email, district spokesperson Paula Power said that the district planned to gradually remove memorials from the school environment contingent upon discussions with the affected families.
St. Albert residents Aiden McGaw and Mikayla Jeske, who have close ties to memorials at Lorne Akins and Hillgrove School, opposed the guidelines and spoke to the Gazette about them on Aug. 25. McGaw also started a Change.org petition calling for memorial items to be kept in place in St. Albert Public schools that had drawn about 720 signatures as of Sept. 5.
“Slap in the face,” says parent
The Gazette reached out to parents with memorials to children in St. Albert schools to hear their thoughts on the guidelines.
Darren Clements’s daughter, Jenna Marko, died in 2019 while she was in Grade 2 at Sir Alexander Mackenzie. Working with the school, the family put up a shadowbox with Jenna’s photo in the library and established “Jenna’s Corner” in the office.
Clements said he was deeply upset by the new guidelines and said removing memorials was a “slap in the face” to everyone who knew the people associated with them.
“Them doing this is taking (Jenna) away all over again.”
Shirlene Sexton’s daughter, Carly, died in July 1993 at age 6 while she was a student at Ronald Harvey. Sexton said the support her family received from the school afterwards was amazing, with the whole neighbourhood pitching in to build a bench in Carly’s honour that still stands today.
“At 68 years old, I will chain myself to the bench before I see it move,” she declared.
In an email, Jeff Wedman said staff at what is now École Sacré Couer installed a bench and planted a tree in honour of his son Thomas after he died in 2013. (That death spurred the city to invest millions into traffic safety measures under the Safe Journeys to School strategy.) While these memorials were not affected by these new guidelines (as Sacré Couer is not part of St. Albert Public), Wedman called those guidelines “nothing short of institutional cowardice.”
“Instead of consulting with those that this policy would affect, administration took the easy way out and cancelled all memorials carte blanche,” he said, without bothering to find out how many memorials and families this would affect.
“No matter how it was approached, removing memorials will be reopening old wounds. Done in this uncaring and impersonal way only magnifies the pain all the families and friends must feel.”
Part of healing
Sexton and Clements disagreed with the guideline’s stance on memorials as potentially traumatizing, saying that they instead helped people come to terms with loss. Sexton said “Carly’s Bench,” as many know it, has helped many area parents talk with their kids about life and death.
“More than anything, it is a conversation piece to open dialogue as to how precious life is,” Sexton said.
Wedman said removing memorials out of the belief that open acknowledgement of death could harm students is “misguided at best and disingenuous at worst,” as schools have a role in helping to raise resilient kids. Deaths by drugs, illness, suicide, or vehicular accidents happen, and hiding them does not give students the skills needed to deal with such deaths when they occur. Memorials can spur discussions on these issues and help students take action when they see a friend in need.
“Pretending nothing bad ever happens does not equip our youth to be the change needed to stop tragedy before it happens,” Wedman said.
Wedman said the tree and bench dedicated to his son were physical representations of how community members came together to support his family following their loss. Both memorials still comfort him to this day.
Sheree Clements, stepmother of Jenna Marko, said families should be allowed to memorialize their children however they like, whether it be through a tree, a bench, or a scholarship.
“When somebody loses someone in the community, we all lose,” she said.
“We need to remember them.”
St. Albert Public officials did not respond to multiple requests for comment on this issue.
