OLDS — An Olds-area author is urging fellow citizens to participate in in the global Wave of Light in remembrance of children who have passed away – primarily those who have died in the womb or within the first few years of life.
Those interested in participating are encouraged to light a candle on Oct. 15 at 7 p.m. to honour all children who have passed away too soon.
Alanna Knobben experienced the loss of a child herself.
Her son Marshall died in 2010 of a very rare illness just a couple of weeks after birth.
She has published a book about the matter and founded a website, www.carryyouwithme.com and describes herself not only as an author but also as a grief mentor.
Knobben has also helped organize Wave of Light events in Calgary and hopes to do so in Olds next year.
“I am now from Olds. We moved here a year ago. I’m a local author and grief mentor working in this space and just looking at spreading awareness and getting more involved in the community here,” she said during an interview.
Knobben said because she’s new in the area and because of COVID restrictions, she hasn’t been able to interact in the community as she would like so hasn’t been able to organize a local event.
But she’s hopeful she can help organize one in 2022, perhaps in Centennial Park.
Knobben is aware that the Olds & District Hospice Society organizes a memorial for loved ones at the Gazebo and Tree of Remembrance in Centennial Park in late fall each year.
However, "the Wave of Light is in honour of a more specific audience and to bring light to the broader impact of infant and child loss," she wrote in an email.
That said, she indicated interest in reaching out to officials at the ODHS and the pregnancy care centre in Olds to see if they should all do something jointly.
Knobben stressed she’s not a psychologist or expert on loss of a child.
“But I am a bereaved parent who has dedicated this part of my life to this work and research and have insights to share with others and create space to let them share their story and what they’re going through," she said.
Although the suggestion is to light a candle for at least an hour, Knobben says that’s not written in stone.
“I like to put no pressure on these things because there is no rule book and I think people should do whatever they’re called to do,” she said, noting some family members just light a candle. Others not only do that but place a photo of their loved one beside it.
She noted many people come to the event in Calgary in front of City Hall, just to share their grief. And the Calgary Tower is lit in pink and blue, the colours of infant loss.
“I guess the way I look at it is you’re taking a pause from everything else going on in your area of the world and you’re making an intentional moment to reflect on that life,” she said.
"You’re reflecting on not just on the death of somebody, but that they lived, that they existed.”
Although the ceremony is primarily meant for children who’ve passed away in the womb or within 24 months or so, that doesn’t mean the loss of children older than that can’t be marked, she said.
“I’ve even celebrated it with parents who have lost pre-teens or teenagers,” she said.
A write-up from Knobben lists several ways parents or other family members can acknowledge their grief:
• Light a candle in memory of a loved one as a quiet moment of personal reflection or as a tribute as part of a family gathering or special event.
• Write their name in chalk on a sidewalk and share a photo of it with someone who misses them.
• Make a small donation to a favourite charity of that lost individual or to a cause you believe they would have cared about.
• Include a photo or memento of the person in a new photo to show how they are still a part of your life.
• Send a card or a loving note to a friend or family member who has lost someone close to them to remind them that you are thinking of them and that they are not alone.
“We may never have the right words to express our condolences but sometimes the action of showing up speaks louder than words,” Knobben said in that release.
